Syndicated Columnist Ron Hart joined the Nation of Jake on Thursday to talk about his latest column on the latest political headlines. Read below for his full article.
Note: This is a satirical piece.
Former President Donald Trump returned to Butler, Pennsylvania, where he was almost killed weeks ago. And you thought Tom Cruise was cool because he does his own stunts.
Trump has survived character assassinations for eight years and at least two crazed gunman-type assassination attempts in twelve weeks. If the Dems want to severely hurt the 78-year-old now, they need to get him to take up pickle ball, or hope that he chokes on dog meat when he visits Springfield, Ohio.
Elon Musk, the Thomas Edison of our time, joined Trump in Butler. Musk can’t currently build a self-driving candidate, so, like most of us, he will bite his tongue, close his eyes and vote for Trump. Musk realizes that Trump’s policies on the border, inflation, crime and economics are far better for us than Kamala Harris’.
Musk is the one endorsement that should mean more to Americans than any other. He is self-made, brilliant and transformative. He’s an immigrant, so the left would say Trump should hate him.
Musk bought his peace for years, as did Trump, by pretending to be a Democrat. Musk was the hero of the left when he was a Democrat. They have viciously excoriated him ever since he decided to think for himself. It has been the best trade in political history. We got Musk and they got the warmongering Cheneys. We got Elon and they got Dick.
Now Musk realizes the threat Democrats represent. They have allowed almost eight million illegal migrants into our country, and some have landed in swing states. These states are won by 10,000 to 40,000 votes. Adding 1 million illegals who vote Democrat legally or illegally (or at least swell the Census in Democrat strongholds), changes our nation.
Like Trump, Musk has made and lost a lot of money being an entrepreneur. Musk’s Neuralink endeavor sought to implant an AI chip into humans to make our brains interface with a computer. If Musk seeks to put chips in mankind, mine had better be Doritos.
Musk is a hero to educated and reasoned people. He overpaid for Twitter (he paid $44 billion, and it is now worth an estimated $9 billion) in order to save free speech. No one has overpaid as much for anything since someone gave Kamala Harris a “penny for her thoughts.”
Maybe Musk can buy the European Union and restore free speech there. Woke America and Europe have become PC and snowflake-sensitive. The next thing we know, I will not be able to make fun of myself and not offend others.
All this campaigning goes on while victims of Helene, which ravaged the South, are deprioritized. Musk went there and provided his Starlink satellite internet for victims. Trump provided food. We send hundreds of billions of dollars to Ukraine, Lebanon, Niger etc., yet our own victims got $750 each from FEMA. Maybe North Carolina and Georgia should change their names to Southern Ukraine to get money from Democrats.
Perhaps the uneven treatment of the rural mountain people of Appalachia is a Democrat plan to not only suppress their vote, but also to stamp out any possibility that another J.D. Vance would again emerge from them thar hills.
Along with Elon, Melania Trump has been campaigning for Donald while promoting her book. In the book she details meeting Trump in 1998 at Fashion Week. Donald had a date but managed to get Melania’s phone number without his date noticing. He was dodging daggers and bullets well before he posed an existential threat to the Deep State.
Musk and Trump are real American success stories, with six marriages between them. Musk has twelve kids with these three women, Trump five. Wedlock doesn’t work well with egotistical, hard-charging, intrepid business types like them, or with actors, comedians or artists. No one was surprised when Hitler committed suicide 20 minutes after marrying Eva Braun.
Elon has made and lost billions, has 3 ex-wives, his Tesla car has crashed, as have some of his X-rockets. Ever the innovator, Elon is now on the cusp of creating a genre of country music that didn’t exist before him.
